Letter to the editor

To Who it May Consern:

Teh Prospecktus is the werst noospaper I evur red.  Nobuddy ever even cares abowt so mutch stuff about Parkland Collige.

U people is always only telling stories about Parkland Collige and everybuddy nows that Universitty of Illinois is way more importanter.

No buddy ever cared about these things, you should right about importanter stuff like nascar or when is hunting season coming?

And who cares about Cobras sports?  No buddy.  It’s only Illni that matter in these town, so get it straight, buddy.

I red ur paper last week and u sed that Professor Obama was talking about community colliges and acting like they was all important. Not even true.  I know him and he told me in private that only Universitys is important.

And your comics is stinky also, too.  I red one called xkcd, and it weren’t even make sense. No buddy wants to reed a comic strip about something for math.  You shouldn’t have to go to collge just to unnerstand a comic for crying pete’s sake out loud!

Teh only good think I could say about your terribul newspaper is that it is free. I would certainly never pay for it, boy howdy.  You would have to pay me money to get me to reed it it is so bad.

Like this story I red the tother week ago.  Something about stopping people frum buying soap??  You numskulls couldn’t even spell teh word soap write!  Your oviusly ideeots.  Spelt it SOPA in all capitial letters so I noticed write away.  Do u no how many stinky people would there be in this town if they stopped useing sope?  To many, thats how.

That’s why u can no that I for sure wont never reed this horribul noospaper again.  You think more smarter people like collig stoodints wud be more knowing abowt wut people want to reed abowt.

U should right more storees abowt famouser things, cus nobody ever herd of President Ramblandge.  I never even heard he was running for president against Mitt Rommey!  Shows how unfamouser is teh people in ur stores.

Yors,

Guy Jones