Chuck Shepherd's News of the Weird

Lead StoryWhen Dexter Blanch's dog nearly died from complications during spay surgery, he decided to use the event as inspiration and recently brought to market a chastity belt to give pet owners more control of their animals' animal instincts. The Pet Anti-Breeding System harness is especially valuable to professional breeders who may want to keep a female out of one or more "heat cycles" without resorting to sterilization. So far, said Blanch, the belts have been proven effective, but he admitted to a San Francisco Chronicle reporter in February that horndog males pose severe tests by gnawing relentlessly at the leather straps that are crimping their style.

The Continuing Crisis

The Importance of the Dictionary: When Donald Williams was publicly sworn in as a judge in Ulster County, N.Y., on Jan. 2, offices were closed, and no one could find a Bible. Since holy books are not legally required, Williams took the oath with his hand on a dictionary.

Merriam Webster's 10th edition dictionary is so influential that the Menifee Union School District in Southern California removed all copies from its elementary schools' shelves in January in response to a parent's complaint that the book contains a reference to "oral sex."

"Texting" While Driving Is Not the Problem: Briton Rachel Curtis, 23, was sentenced to 12 months in prison by Bristol Crown Court in October for leading police on a high-speed chase while injecting heroin.

Authorities in Scottsboro, Ala., in December arrested a man after a high-speed chase during which he allegedly had methamphetamine cooking in the front seat.

Long-haul trucker Thomas Wallace was charged with manslaughter in Buffalo, N.Y., in January after his rig struck a parked car, killing the occupant, while Wallace was distracted watching pornography on his laptop computer.

Bright Ideas

An official in Shijiazhuang, China, told Agence France-Presse in December that the city's new "women only" parking lot was designed to meet females' "strong sense of color and different sense of distance." That is, the spaces are 3 feet wider than regular spaces and painted pink and purple. Also, attendants have been "trained" to "guide" women into parking spaces.

Lenoir County, N.C., sheriff's deputies raided a suspected marijuana farm in January and learned that the grow operation was all underground. The 60 live plants were being cultivated inside an abandoned school bus, which had been completely buried, using several backhoes, accessible by a tunnel and with a garage built on top of it.

The Fragrance of Love

First, farmer Dick Kleis of Zwingle in eastern Iowa, composing a birthday note to his wife, arranged more than 60 tons of manure in a pasture to spell out "Happy Birthday, Love You" in shorthand. Then, for Valentine's Day, farmer Bruce Andersland created a half-mile-wide, arrow-pierced heart from plowed manure at his farm near the town of Albert Lea, Minn. "Now I've got my valentine!" shouted wife Beth, when she first viewed the aerial image.

Oops!

Helmut Kichmeier, 27, a hypnotist "trainee" who appears as Hannibal Helmurto in Britain's Circus of Horrors, accidentally hypnotized himself in January as he was practicing in front of a mirror. (Being in such a trance helps him swallow swords on stage.) His wife called Kichmeier's mentor, Dr. Ray Roberts, who, as a "voice of authority," was able to snap Kichmeier out of it over the phone.

Sometimes, Men Just Have to Prove Theirs Is Bigger

A 31-year-old man was stabbed in St. Cloud, Minn., in January. He told police that he and another man were approaching each other on a sidewalk, and when neither man gave way, the other man stabbed him.

Scott Elder, 22, was charged with shooting a 24-year-old man in Savannah, Ga., in October after an escalating argument that started when one of the two strangers sent a text message to a wrong number. One comment led to another, and the men agreed to meet in a downtown parking lot to settle things.

Lankward Harrington, 25, was walking past a gardener working on lawn in Washington, D.C., in October 2006 when grass clippings blew onto his clothes. At his trial in October 2009, Harrington was convicted of murder for shooting the gardener four times in the face. Said Harrington, on the witness stand: "He got grass on me. [I] take pride in my appearance."

A News of the Weird Classic (April 2005)

Dr. Thomas Perls, director of the New England Centenarian Study at Boston University Medical School, told a conference in Brisbane, Australia, in March 2005 that he donates blood regularly, largely because he believes it will prolong his life. Women outlive males, Dr. Perls believes, mainly because they menstruate. Perls said iron loss inhibits the growth of free radicals that age cells. "I menstruate," he said, "every eight weeks.